Stuff

I have kept meaning to blog...and never got the chance to do it. So here I am...Sitting in my really comfy recliner in the cool air...wow it has been hot...but I have enjoyed the sun. This week has been good. We went to a free Chris Tomlin concert on Friday. It was awesome, hot, but awesome. I was sitting by my sister. We don't often get to do stuff like that together. Especially without the kids...it was a great time with all who where there. Macee got to hang out with her geema..that is what she calls Chris's mom. I was so happy about it. I hate the fact that our parents live so far away and that they don't have a lot of time to spend with the kids. So it was great that she got to have some grandparent time. I was and still am very close to my grandparents....So the fact that she got to spend time with her grandparents was a big deal to me.
I have been really feeling like I am in a real desert place right now with my relationship with the Lord. I feel like he is not here. I know he is, and I know that for a fact, but this is one of those times it feels like he is not. I called my dad to talk. I just want to know some ways to better my relationship with Christ. One thing that I have really struggled with is that I don't really know who to talk to about feeling this way. I wish I could talk to someone, and no I am not writing this in hopes that someone will offer to listen..but writing it does make me feel better, it is just too bad that other people will be reading this....but I have some struggles..at times I hate to admit that because it makes me feel weak. I hate to be around whinny people that are like whoa is me.....Etc. So here I am feeling like...whoa is me....I am not sure even how to put it into words...anyhow, pray if anything for me that the Lord once again becomes real to me again in a big way. As my mom would say, this is one of those times that you really wish you could have a jesus with skin on in your life....
So I had a doctors app. today. I, four months ago had test done on my liver etc...it is check up work I have to have every 2 years now since I had the HELLPS syndrome with Macee...well they went ahead and checked my cholesterol, and liver count, my white blood count, and my sugar count. Not because of any concern just to make sure that things are in order etc. So I went back today to find out that I have what my doctor says is a insulin disorder. It is not a precursor to diabetes, just a disorder of sorts, I am producing too much insulin, but not too much enough to be called type 2 diabetes. It was also showing that the too much insulin was causes my liver not to process what it should in the amount of time it should etc. I was teasing saying that I get hypoglycemic when I don't eat on time etc. The doc said that is what is really happening....I would get really light headed and feel really sick...but so here I am on a new med. that is suppose to help level all of that out. It is so wacked out she said that it could be the very reason I have a lot of hormonal problems etc. She (the doc) thinks that this med will help with all of the other issues etc. So I just blabbed a bunch of stuff...I needed to write all of that, it is my journal, a place to write it all out. No I did not write it so that I could make a big deal out of it..but so that I could ask everyone to pray just for the Lord to be real to me right now, and that I can find healthy balance with all things in my life right now...
One thing that I really have enjoyed is when my pals have been ending their blogs with things to be blessed about. I will steal the idea...I love reading it in a closing, it leaves a positive feeling in your heart...sounds so nice huh...so I will try to do the same...
Things to be blessed about today...
...a long walk with my hubby and cutie little girl
...a productive day
...lightening bugs
...grape popsicles on the swing in the dark with my little family.
...rain
...Cole and Leo...
...My sister.
Better go...Later.