stuff

So I hate when I read someone's blog and they are sad or in a funk...I suppose the reason I hate to read it is because I want to fix it and can't. It seems as if there are so many of us that feel "yucky" right now....I wish I could fix it and find myself in conflict because I can't....so I pray.
I sent a card to Rachel today. I love her. Pray for her....she has to make some really hard choices right now and needs wisdom. Please pray for her. Last night on the way home, I started screaming at God about Rach....I just wanted to make sure that he could hear me...it is so heavy on my heart. I find myself thinking about it while I am teaching, I wake up at night to pray for her etc....please hold my arms up and pray with me. I just want the Lords will but I want protection, physically, spiritually and emotionally for all those involved.......
So last night was the first time that I did a "full body" work out with my personal trainer, who is also one of my best friends...it was so awesome. I have not lifted weights in a long time. For a while in high school and college I was really thin and into weights...I realized how much I miss it, and how great it felt afterwards to be that "good" sore...until I had to walk upstairs at school today...at that moment, my calves did not say that it was a "good sore"....so another piece of the pie (no pun intended), in my personal journey to giving every bit of me over to the Lord.
Our "gathering" Monday night was great...everyone had a great time, and it felt like I had family in my house. It was awesome to have everyone packed around the table, in my heart I know that my mom was smiling. I am sure...I know for a fact that she had to feel some proudness...to see people around her table at my house talking about the Lord........tears......I miss her.
I got a call at school yesterday. It was my dad....he said..."what are you doing"....ofcourse I panic....I said "I am working"....he said "wanna go to dinner with your other favorite man"....I thought to myself...well this isn't David Crowder Dad get real...just kidding...so he had to go to a funeral in a town close to us and did not realize how close to bg he would be...so I had supper at my favorite place...Skyline, with my Daddy, my hubby and the cutest little blonde girl in the whole world...it was great....can I just say how pathetic I am....I cried inside and got teary eyed when he left...there is just something about spending time with just him...since my mom has died and my dad remarried our relationship is really different, not bad just different...but when it is just him and Chris and Macee, I am daddy's girl again...I am sure that sound stupid...but I needed that and it felt good....
School is going good....sometimes I wonder if these kids will ever catch on....and then I remember why I began to teach...to make them feel "real" (read the Velveteen rabbit and you'll understand...it's my life story)...so I leave you with this, a snippet from a letter I wrote to Macee but also overflows to my chillins at school:
"What is real"? Ask Rabbit one day..."Does it mean having things that buzz inside of you and a stick out handle"? "Real isn't how you are made, it's a thing that happens to you"."Does it hurt when you are real...?" "Sometimes, said the skin horse, but generally when someone loves you for a really long time, you are real..."
To all my kids...you are real...always and forever...even on the days I forget.....