The good, the bad, the ugly...

*The Good:

-Mother's Day...I celebrated, was celebrated, honored, and grieved...it was precious.
-10 years of marriage to my Wesley, my knight, my lover, my best friend. Wow 10 years..how cool is that?
-2 days of school left.

-great times at church

-Frisbee dates with my honey

-watching Chris teach Macee how to throw a Frisbee

-strawberry yummy stuff at Easy Street, and darn good eats...you had to be there.

-hard work, great friends, dirt, anal sweeping red heads...who are really funny...well you had to be there too.

-frizbee homo's

-jobs for my pals

-healing

-friends that listen

-the journey that hurts but makes us better...that's good.

-My amazing daughter, who told me I look cute in everything...:)

-A friend that you can shop for bathing suits with knowing that she will be honest...

-my most amazing friend, a woman in my life who knows my soul, who loves me, who helped raise me, who has been one of the biggest influences on my life, who loves the unloveable, who is a lot like my mom....her name is MaryAnn...I call her "MawMaw"....I love her...that grandma of mine....

*The Bad:

-iep's (well that could fit in the good, now that they are done. 22, 15 page papers, pure insanity)

-my great friend, a fellow 2nd grade teacher in my building, with two kids, (a 5th and 7th grader), her husband was caught in a hay auger, very tragically killed while his brother and father watched in horror. A beautiful Sunday afternoon, life turned upside down for my friend Julie in an instant. Pray for her and for Ross and Mckayla

-my principles mother diagnosed with colon cancer the next day.

-healing

-stupid crap

*The Ugly:

-Satan himself showing up.....TRYING to take on the wrong freakin family...

-My dad resigned...

-healing and growing sucks. Being a grown up is hard sometimes. but okay, we can do this. WE WILL DO THIS !

Notice my list of good is longer....I am celebrating my blessings...my joys, my family, my friends, my church.

It has been a month since Emma died....it has been hard for my family. But I must say in the midst of all of this...it has made me so much more who I am tyring to be in a mother. It's so hard to find positive in this, but on a recurring basis, daily basis, I am reminded almost everytime I look into Macee's Pinson eyes that...life is so precious. Losing my mom obviously taught me that, but when I look at Macee.....man.....it goes deep....

Last night we were out watering flowers....and then swinging on the swing set...as she was swinging, Macee was yelling "I love this...it makes my belly tickle"....I stopped and looked at her face...I burned that "look" of joy and pure preciousness into my heart....I totally etched it all. One thing that I know is that sometimes the memories are the hardest thing to deal with during loss. But I am at that point in my life that I find those memories to be the best gift anyone could give me...and something that no one can take away.

One thing that my mom said a week before she died...was to the congregation that my dad was pastoring at...she said..."The Lord told me to remind all of you, that in the midst of it all, in the midst of the wreck"..."He is Faithful"....and I am here to say, even when my amazing best friend named Donna Rucker is gone from my life, and little Emma has been ripped away...and sometimes you are waiting for God to do something...I cannot help but to express that in the midst of the wreck...We are blessed with little tickled bellies and so much more....I can promise you, (as I do myself everyday)...that he is Failthful...forever