Hello...Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and Happy Birthday Macee Donna!!!

It is I the blogger slacker...but, here I am...finally alone...no one around. This is the first time in about two weeks...what do I do? Macee is napping and Chris is headed to the church.....Two cakes in the oven, one more to go...Yes, Happy Birthday Macee...our little 2lb. 13oz. bundle is now 3 years old...typing it makes me want to cry. She has come so far, and amazes me more and more everyday. She is funny....Referring to herself as a "loud talker" when she is using a really loud voice to say everything....counting how many turds she has pooped in the toilet...but it is Macee style..in her loud talker voice.."Momma I have one, two , three turds!", she is cute...ofcourse....she is so strong willed (can't imagine where in the world she gets that from)....I cannot even begin to tell you how strong willed...ask Tina and Dan, they have seen some of the best of the stories, yet she is so sensitive...many times when I cry over a commercial or something...yes, I cry over commercials. She will want to kiss me and then say "are you happy now Mommy"?.....she is a great mommy to her dollys...she is soooo girl...loves to cook for her daddy and loves to feed her babys and sing to them....she is so sweet...when she's not tired:)....she is dreams and realities and joy and triumph and MIRACLE all wrapped up in her little tiny blonde haired blue eyed 22 pound body....my dearest one....I will truly love you forever.... Happy Birthday!
Christmas was good, new, weird, at times frustrating....and fun......all in about 2 days...We spent Christmas eve with the Weiss's, had a great time with them....had church and then Chris continued the wonderful evening by reading the Christmas story to Macee and I in our living room with only the Christmas tree lights on...yes I cried....tears of feeling blessed to be in our home, with my hubby and little one, blessed to have been loved by this little Christ child, blessed to have been raised in a home were every year we sat as a family, extended family and all and read the Christmas story...a little sad.....bittersweet I suppose........Christmas morning was way cool...a little odd too...I have now finally spent my first Christmas away from my daddy...it was really hard on Christmas eve, not to be home with him....and Christmas morning was good, but I missed my parents a lot...but I fixed the traditional Rucker Christmas morning breakfast...and it was gooooooddd.....after we opened gifts we sat as our little family and had breakfast....it was great creating our new memories and watching Macee enjoy the time....but growing up and changing things is a little bittersweet...that would be a great word to keep in mind for my Christmas....
Time with our families then was great....Chris was in rare form...we laughed so hard at him...I really needed to spend time with my family and Chris's too, although it was a little hetic at times, it was great....many new memories, many bittersweet thoughts, great times had by all......true feelings stuffed...that's okay though, time to move on and get over it.....not just my moms death...just weird, learning and growing stuff...I felt so blessed is the best way to put it....love to all better go...oddly enough the timer for the cakes is going off and Macee is crying...time to sign off. Later.... Please please please pray for my cousin Rachel......please...

The list!

It's Friday!
1. Thank God....
2. No, no... puke today....no...no...only LICE in Room 125.....
3. Ready for sleep...
4. A sick and moody baby girl and bald guy both are.... AHHHHH
5. A great fun and exciting night playing cards with best friends....
6. Someone coming to the rescue of the "baby" after the pug attack...really sweet...guess you had to be there....
7. Sweet words from my girl....about my mom...
9. Can't wait for tomorrow...really, my dad and step mom are coming up...and I miss them and can't wait to spend some time with them.
10. Got an awesome email from my dad today...made me cry...
11. Thinking about spending Christmas morning with my little family...on our own for the first time in our lives for about 3 hours Christmas morning....I love the idea...can't wait to make memories here and then go home to spend time with fam! Yeah!
12. I love David Crowder...
13. I don't want to sin and don't like to sin... I feel like Paul...
14. But I am growing!
15. I am a saved by the blood born again heaven bound kid....and I don't deserve it.....but wow.....

Mommy and Macee blogging together! Enjoy !

Hello!hjhhhhhhhhhhhhhhjhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
gchcfe hgtgyehfgttttt. Macee says it is my turn now...yeah. Okay so it's not mommy's turn. jndeeeeeeeeeeeee aqmaceeddddddddddddddddddddddddddqwbjo=hh
Okay so it is really me this time. I have finally gotten 10 min. to blog a little.
Last night on my walk...it was so cold and windy... but the sunset was so beautiful...many colors...orange, red, pink, purple and blue...I felt so good in his presence etc...I jogged part of the way...needless to say I was pooped when I got done....But it was so awesome...I swear that sunset was for me....Thanks Jesus...
Today however, I had a really crazy day. I had another student throw up today in my classroom. This time it was right in front of my desk...it almost hit my pen collection...that would have been bad:)so then we could not get a hold of her mom, the nurse had to go pound on the door awhile only to get a pissed off, really sleepy mom...then...My little Audri was screaming her head off so bad today too that one of my aides started crying because she felt so bad for her....the police had to end up coming because a third grader was out of control..the nurse was in our room trying to get Audri to stop screaming and then got called to the office to help restrain this third grader kid....my downs girl was plugging her ears saying "Audee go home!"....it was nuts.......so now I am home and how appropriately the song "Take me to Funky town" is playing.....please someone take me too.....But in the middle of all this crap at school there is a bunch of church crap, family crap too...BUT...I feel so blessed though....I love the Lord, my family and actually I started laughing at how funny things were today....Christmas is on its way...then Macee's third birthday....can't wait to celebrate with her for Christmas then her day....she can't wait for her "Happy Birthday"....anyhowMany memories to make......see ya....Shreck 2 is on...gotta run.

Well hello!

Hello, I am finally sitting down long enough to stop and get my thoughts out on paper. It has been a crazy few weeks...(do I say that every time...sorry)...but it has. To top it all of my dearest hubby has had a real attitude issue and the world of "lets love and give and live at peace with all men" world came to a screetching halt and the roaring lion and sucky attitude world came to live with me. I am like..."and you thought I had pms issues"...I don't ever want to hear it again...But isn't that when the making up part is all the better....
Had another student barf the other day...we were stamping cute little Christmas stamps on brown paper bags for the entire schools "Secret Santa Shop" when my sweetie Jacob decided that he needed to barf 4 straight times onto the table we were all working at....I don't really know if I have ever in my life...have I looked at that much barf...at this point the aide that was the closest screamed at the top of her lungs....the rest of us...we started laughing until I got a whiff...he had had nachos for lunch...I started dry heaving...and laughing even harder at that point.......so needless to say I had to explain to the PTO parents why we had to go and buy new stamps, stamp pads and brown paper bags...ahhhh, it all worked out...and just another barf story to add to the list...
Was able to go and see my mother and father in law at their church last Sunday. Mom was in a play and Mikey Dad was in the orchestra...they are both so very talented...I cried....Macee was completly amazed that her Geema and Gimpa could do the things they were...It was so cute to see her with them and to see her watch them...She wanted to see Gimp play his horn....and kept yelling "Geema" when mom was on stage..it was funny....Tina and Dan were also there...I could not believe how much Macee looks like her Aunt Tina.....So she got the Dilbone looks and the Rucker attitude....hmmmm.....But my eyes!
Went out with the girls last night from work..we had fun......don't ask...
But it was good and they blessed me with some great gifts...I feel really blessed to have each of them working in my room with me..thanks girls I love you.
So does anyone out there watch "Little Bill"? So there was an episode on today that Macee watched...it was a Christmas one...where "Alice the Great" was stuck in the airport...so anyhow, did anyone see that? If you did, did you cry? I still get teared up thinking about it...how little Bill felt was just how I am feeling this year about Christmas...It is so hard this year to do it without my mom...I debated on sharing this...I am not depressed, sad or angry...just a little kid deep down wishing things could be the way they are "suppose" to be....
So this summer when I was cleaning out my grandma and grandpas stuff... I found something...something worth more than anything in the world....I found these words written by my momma. A letter written to her mom on the loss of her dad who are all now in heaven. A treasure of words and strength I hold close. A gift to me now...a gift to you...priceless I say, this is priceless...let the Joy of the Lord fill your heart... celebrate this season...a priceless treasure all the way from Christmas 1978..in words of Donna Rucker
Dear Mother,
Thought I'd write a note while sharing your thoughts today. The icy days remind me of last year of also how lovely paradise must be right now. It's so easy to let the Spirit of Christmas be destroyed with our grief: I have to remind myself over and over again that the birth of this child is the hope that I have now. And we could not live without that hope. And nothing can ever take away that Spirit of Christmas. Because mom I am convinced that nothing- not even death can separate us from the love of Christ.
I cannot realize the loss you feel each day with daddy being gone, I cannot fulfill the love that you need returned, but I do trust the Fathers love and the love that my own father gave. It was a love from both that made me special no matter how worthless I felt before others. But that love and special-ness is what he has left us. Something else no one can destroy...
I love you and share your grief with you this day, as I do everyday in this past year. But I hope for the day when we shall gather as a family again...Love you-Donna....

Dear Momma....Merry Christmas... Just wanted you to know that I promise I will be there. LYF! Sara Anne....

Hope everyone has a great holiday. Thanks for all the laughter, love and support....Happy Holidays...Love to all..Will write again soon...