Momma...I love you. (Post #2)

to my d.p. my d.l.r. My momma..LYF
There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever and not for better
Some are gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With people and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
But in my life, I loved them all
But of all these friends and loved ones
there is not one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and friends that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them. But in my life I loved you more.
Soon we'll come to the end of life's journey
And perhaps we'll never meet anymore
Till we gather in heavens bright city
Far away on that beautiful shore
If we never meet again this side of heaven
As we struggle through this world and it's strife
There's another meeting place this side of heaven
By the beautiful river of life
Where the charming roses bloom forever
And separation comes no more
If we never meet again this side of heaven...
I see you there momma, I will meet you there...on that beautiful shore.
*In my heart today:
O' Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder
Consider all the words thy hands hath made
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder
Thy power throughout the universe displayed
Then sings my soul (because of your example)
I sing
My savior God to thee, How great thou art, How great thou art, then sings my soul, my savior God to thee, How great thou art, how great thou art!

Once again. I still hurt, struggle and miss my momma. 4 years is too long, I can't wait to catch up someday...
Yet, I can end by saying.
Yes; yes, today,
It is well with my soul.

Post #1: Disclaimer

First, my blog is a place where I share my thoughts. Hence the name...Me, my thoughts and I. Usually the majority of my thoughts are not shared with others before I type them.
Second; I am sorry to those of you who thought is was rude to call someone the name I did when I was discussing one of my friends in a previous blog. If you know me you know that this is never a word I have used in language out loud in front of my daughter. NEVER! I have only joked with my friend about this in a letter and in a very in depth phone call where he played a really bad April fools joke on me. That is how it started. Now we just joke about the fact that I called him a really bad name. NO, I don't go around saying that word or others of such nature to or in front of my daughter. Yes, I have said things in front of Macee that I should not. However, the words I speak to my daughter out loud are to my best knowledge and effort, words of love, encouragement, friendship and NOT negative words. I do however appreciate concern and will in the future be more careful to share my thoughts in my blog and outloud in a way that won't be hurtful or lead others to presume my life is a certain way...Especially when it comes to how I present my self to my daughter. I am in no way mad, but I guess being real comes with a price. Just not at the price of my daughter or for that matter my church and church family. That can be assured!!!!

bye bye summer....

So here it finally is...our tat's...so if you know my sister and I you will be able to tell who's foot is who's...we love our daisies...we have the initials "dp" on there because that was my moms name was Donna Pinson...we chose to use her maiden name because our legacy started with a tall, dark haired, big blued eyed girl named Donna Pinson. She, when her and my dad were dating would sign her name to things just simply...Love always, dp...so instead of getting a heart with "mom" written through it, we did our version...and I love it.

So it has been a few interesting weeks. I have totally had a peace with everything that is going on at church. However, it has been interesting to hear and see everyone's take on things. Some are really positive while others are not so much. Although I don't like change and don't like hurt, I am finding that although this situation is not fun, I truly believe that the Lord is going to do great things for the bg naz as well as totally continue to use Scott and Kim to do kingdom work, now is Scott's opportunity to do things a little different...all around I can't wait to see what God has in store. That does not mean it will always be fun but....so anyhow. Oddly enough as I type, I am hiding in the booth upstairs away from folks, to blog. Tonight is a "farewell" party for Scott and Kim...I could be really sarcastic about it but...so anyhow.
Yes, folks I turned 29 again this month...o' my gooosh...I am thirty...see I cannot even type it with numerals, it does not look so bad typed as a word. I had a great party, thanks to all my gathering buddies. It was so fun. And a great time with Chris and Macee, my family, and all. As I said in my last post, I am so rich.
Well this is the last party of summer for me. School starts on Monday. Which is also the day my mom died 4 years ago. I am ready, not ready, excited...nervous, etc. Pray for Macee as she gets back into the swing of things, it will be more of a pre-school setting for her this year. But adjust- ment and change are always hard for all of us. But I am looking forward to getting back onto a regular schedule...

My last look at summer. This is my little angel enjoying the summer weather...thank you Lord for special times, new memories and great times with my little family...And darn her butt is so cute.
Bye bye summer...
Use me Lord. Use even me...

In my book, I am a millionaire!

I said a few days ago..."I hate Aug., only pain comes in Aug., nothing good ever happens in Aug"., (only birthdays of my wonderful Aug. pals...those are the good things in Aug.) Anyhow. What a great attitude huh?...
As the days go by..(whew sounds like a great KU song:) I started realizing my attitude sucks. I am so rich, so blessed beyond measure. Even through times of great hurting, being unsure of our paths, fears of losing people who are important, and just the all around stress of life, I have been each day amazed at what the Lord reminds me of. The Lord has used people in my life to remind me of his love and strength.
A few things else I need to say before I make my "rich list"...
I have a friend. I lovingly call him "A*@hole"...And I call him this so that he never gets a big head, and of course its a stupid joke that will never die...so anyhow, this person has been a huge part of my spiritual growth. A person that I saw the Lord change so deep within...A person who has loved me so unconditionally, who let me grow without being judgemental to me, who has let me cry when I needed to, who laughed at my jokes, listened to my dumb theology, has held my hand and sat at my side during the worst parts of my life. I have seen my friend, carry the faith of Christ...show the love of Christ, and stare the ugly devil and sin in life square in the face with the power of Christ in front of him. You friend...i love you. jerk, Thank you for being you, for being a really awesome vessel..even though you're still an @!!%^&*!.
I also have this other friend, she is amazing...it seems when I need to hear certain things in my life, certain words of encouragement, without knowing it she will share her heart, she will be real, and what she says is a direct result of my praying for clarity on something. I sorta feel like she's the Lords messenger to me during hard times. Your words last night were what I needed to hear. Thanks for being willing to be real. For being you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. And I am blessed to call you my friend. I love you and appreciate you....not to mention that you have the cutest dark haired kid in the world...
So onto my rich list.
Reasons I feel rich:
*having a father that is a king
*5 of the most important letters my hand ever writes: Macee
*a Jesus filled bald guy
*gathering...which was awesome last night.
*great girl friends
*Lily's kisses
*lots of laughter with a big group
*my family, my dad, step-mom, my sister
*trees that dance in the breeze
*blue skies, cloudless days...just like DLR loved.
*a tattoo on it's way...mon. the 15th...will post a picture when I get a chance..
and on a side note to end my post...can I just say...
"Mean people suck"...